Reproach of Ego

The fourth of the five strengths to practice in life and at death is to identify ego thinking and remove yourself from it - to not give energy to or get caught up in the ego story. These are notes of my understanding from the Shambhala discussion group I attend.

First, recognise ego thinking as our insanity - our ideas and thinking are responsible for holding onto what we have or wanting what we do not. We try to control or maintain a solidity of knowing what represents reality, truth and our sense of who we are. Nothing is fixed, nothing is permanent. Things change and things die. Holding onto permanence and resisting change, because ego insists on its own story of reality, is guaranteed to fuel our insanity.

If we recognise this and desire freedom from the anguish of our insanity, we would consider diminishing the role of ego in our thinking. What is required is a letting go of ego thinking so we can be open to and present with everything. What we strive for is to stop holding and grasping to our ideas, our thinking of who we are and what our reality is. By not being attached to these ideas we become open and available to discovering who we are in each moment - a continuously blossoming bud.

Since ego is a relating energy, positioning us in relation to others, its underlying nature is one of separateness. And since our identity is wrapped up in this, diminishing the strength of ego is to diminish our sense of identity. Feelings of emotional pain, sadness, loss and aloneness are likely to be experienced. Who am I if I am not my ego?

Recognising this, two meditations are useful aids. The heart, or Tonglen meditation is a conscious technique for opening to the feeling of suffering - allowing this in our heart rather than closing to it. The death meditation is a contemplation on being intrinsically connected to everything when we loose the identity that comes with separateness.

Qualities that facilitate opening and presence are to relax and soften - to develop an attitude towards yourself of gentleness, forgiveness and compassion, or what is known as loving-kindness. Loosing your grounding identity, your sense of what you know and understand to be true, real and who you are, as suggested, is a painful and lonely experience. Forgiveness, gentleness and compassion are what allow you to return to a relaxed softening so you remain open to everything, including your pain and loneliness.

Practising patience and gratitude also help.

Recognising that ego is likely to resist its own death, two specific awareness practises assist:

• Have an ongoing alertness to, and noticing of, ego thinking

  It's like shining a spotlight onto ego, paying attention to it, and watching its every move. Initially you will only notice it from the results of your unconscious responses i.e. you've already acted unconsciously according to default patterns of behaviour. This is a good time to remember loving-kindness, especially forgiveness and patience. Noticing is awareness and is valuable. With practise, you begin to notice the underlying ego thoughts before you get caught in them.

• Then, have a conversation with your ego

  When you become aware of the ego trip, remove yourself from it and address it. Recognise ego thinking and declare your intention to not get caught up in its insanity. When in conversation with ego it is no longer you - by talking to it you externalise it and there is potential for it to become separate from your identity. Recognising ego thinking and addressing it is an opportunity to encourage and teach your ego as you reconnect with your intention and the qualities that embody your higher potential.

Two points of caution:

1. You can't get rid of this thinking. By noticing and being aware of your thinking you have the opportunity to choose. Instead of acting according to unconscious patterning, the choice-maker has the opportunity to connect into authenticity by being present with and open to everything taking place. If you're trying to get rid of it it is likely you are closing yourself off in some way. The whole idea is to be open to everything. (For more on this read: Conscious Awareness and Choice)

2. In attempting to remove yourself from ego there is a danger of simply becoming self-judgemental, self-critical or self-blaming. You shouldn't be so hard in this practise and it's good to remember the qualities of loving-kindness and practice Tonglen. One can be firm and determined with complete sincerity and softness.

This ties in with the other five strengths as follows:

1. When teaching the ego it is valuable to connect in and become familiar with those qualities of our higher-potential.

2. One should actually have an intention and willingness to allow our higher-potential to manifest.

3. As this is an ongoing practice - training does not happen easily just by understanding. Determination provides a gentle reminder each time to return to the intention, the qualities of loving-kindness and the practise of noticing and teaching our ego nature.

I would love to read your comments.